Rewind to Saturday. The family had made plans to spend the Fourth at the lake. Mom and Dad had gone down Thursday evening- I was planning to drive down Saturday morning. I had my bathing suit on and was about to walk out the door when Mom called to say she and Dad were on their way home- the rest home called and Maw Maw was not doing well. Without thought- I threw on clothes over my bathing suit and rushed to Maw Maw's side. Over the past few months I have watched Maw Maw's health deteriorate- but I new things weren't good when I laid my eyes on her. She was in a comatose state- she didn't open her eyes or respond to any touch or noise. I sat by her bedside and the tears started flowing. (I said it was payback for laughing at Ashlyn cry through the movie "My Sister's Keeper" the day before). Mom and Dad came shortly- in the meantime our extended family moved our lake plans home to Kannapolis. We cooked out and made homemade ice-cream. We took shifts- Mom didn't leave Maw Maw's side. That evening Alison's family and Tyler and I took the dogs on a walk through the park to get out. That night we set off the "sparklers" that we had bought for the lake. A little later our neighbors across the road to the back of our house set off real fireworks- I sat on the back deck and watched them for at least an hour. I thought to myself, "God doesn't forget the small things- he knows how to make us smile." I went to bed that night knowing things weren't good with Maw Maw.
Sunday- Mom was glued to Maw Maw's side. Dad and I stayed except for leaving to get breakfast and lunch. This was a tough day as we watched some of Maw Maw's closest friends come to "tell her goodbye". Saturday we had kept Maw Maw's condition on the dl because of the 4th holiday and not knowing how things would go. Sunday- news spread when our Pastor mentioned her in the morning service. Our pastor had a prayer with her ..."that God would be with Maw Maw as he always had been, and with us her family as we walked with her as far as life allowed." Through out the afternoon handfuls of church family and friends came to be by our side. Maw Maw's nurses couldn't get over how many people kept coming by. Mom remarked, "I don't know what people without a church family do."
Monday- things were about the same. The doctor was scheduled to make an evening round. All day we anxiously awaited his call. When he came by- he assessed Maw Maw's condition and basically told us what we already knew, the end was eminent. There was really no need to try and treat her with antibiotics. He asked us what we would want done if we were in her situation. He suggested to make her as comfortable as possible. Since Maw Maw was minimally responsive- it was hard to tell if she was in any pain. The doctor suggested to give her morphine that would relax her. He told us it may be anywhere from 24 hours to 10 days. It was a little over 24 hours.
Tuesday- the morphine had definitely relaxed her. I could tell a noticeable difference in her appearance that morning. Her brother Pete, who comes up from SC every Tuesday, was there and got to tell her good bye. As the day wore on her breathing became more shallow and her vitals were erratic. I stayed pretty much the whole day except for lunch and a quick dinner. I was very emotional all day. Later in the evening I was screening Mom's cell phone calls. Around 9, I was sitting on the couch when I heard a knock on the door. At this time the hall lights were off because the residents were going to bed for the night. Well- at the door stood a resident named Linda- usually Linda is in a wheel chair. Well she asked for Mom- because she wanted to see Maw Maw. Prior to this she would always come to the door and ask how Maw Maw was but she was "scared to see/talk to her. She told mom, "I'm going to do it. Something told me I need to see Mrs. Dancy." She went in and did what she needed to do. When she walked out I walked over to Maw Maw to check her vitals and feel for her pulse. I told Mom I didn't feel a pulse. In the mean time the cell phone rang, Maw Maw's sister from Florida, and I ran outside to answer the phone. Meanwhile Mom went in to check on Maw Maw- when she looked up Maw Maw had stopped breathing. I immediately ran back in there- it was amazing the change in Maw Maw's countenance in such a short time. She indeed went peacefully just like she wanted.
Her homecoming service was held Friday. We chose to have the visitation, funeral and burial back to back. The visitation was a bright reminder of how loved Maw Maw was as we visited with many friends and family. The funeral was light-hearted (just how she would have wanted it) as we remembered Maw Maw and the legacy she left behind. A few things Maw Maw was remembered for: her yeast rolls, ability to was dogs to scare away preachers, her hospitality, her bossy disposition (which came in handy for the many weddings she directed), the florist she ran for 25 years, her love for her family, her loyalty for the church, and perhaps most- her smile. One of the songs sung was, "I'll Fly Away". Even though this is an upbeat song- it was perfect. This was my special song with Maw Maw and one of her favorites that she sang up until the end.
Reading back through my birthday post, I left a prayer at the bottom that God would use Maw Maw for the advancement of his kingdom and that her caregivers would see him in her- I know my prayer was answered. Maw Maw spent exactly 2 years 5 months at Big Elm Retirement. Over and over we saw God's hand in everything from beginning to end. Some of her caregivers became like family to her and to us. I know Maw Maw's smile radiated the love of Jesus through and through. Our family would often respond to her caregiver's remarks that God was with us. Her Indian doctor commented on how peaceful she was- a sign that she was ready to go "up there".
How does one adequately put into words- the legacy of their Maw Maw????
Some of the highest compliments I was paid in the passing of my Maw Maw: "We know where Jill gets her leadership abilities from." "We know where Jill gets her since of style from." "We know where Jill gets her ability to talk from."
Reading back through my birthday post, I left a prayer at the bottom that God would use Maw Maw for the advancement of his kingdom and that her caregivers would see him in her- I know my prayer was answered. Maw Maw spent exactly 2 years 5 months at Big Elm Retirement. Over and over we saw God's hand in everything from beginning to end. Some of her caregivers became like family to her and to us. I know Maw Maw's smile radiated the love of Jesus through and through. Our family would often respond to her caregiver's remarks that God was with us. Her Indian doctor commented on how peaceful she was- a sign that she was ready to go "up there".
How does one adequately put into words- the legacy of their Maw Maw????
Some of the highest compliments I was paid in the passing of my Maw Maw: "We know where Jill gets her leadership abilities from." "We know where Jill gets her since of style from." "We know where Jill gets her ability to talk from."
"Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened!"
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